Life Lately, Solstice Edition: Travel Karma, Tender Wins, and Saying Less
Hello Blog Style: The only Substacks I am actually reading these days are blog style.
Why? Oh, I dunno. Everything else is salesy or too heady? (Does that sound mean?!) I just am feeling more drawn to the raw, so I decided to do my own version of that. I’ll pop these in every here and there. Though I do love my deep, serious pieces. I’ll do both.
Today I walked my daughter in her stroller on a small Danish island’s street. I made the barista laugh. She is Bulgarian and I could tell was bored with the small-town Danish vibes. She had winged eyeliner and I could smell her wild soul from a mile away.
Don’t you love that about being an embodied woman who has broken free? You can smell it on other women.
Either the boxes that yearn to be broken down, or the spirit of freedom found, the innate love, and pleasure.
It is delicious.
I always wanna honor a woman that I can feel is living into her own truth, despite a world that tells her she should be a million things to be lovable.
I have found travel days are our days as a couple that Eli and I usually rupture. Stress levels get high.
So we are rewriting them—starting slower, giving each other more space, solo time, before we pack up.
We tried to plan and things still got wonky yesterday. Two taxis canceled on us in Copenhagen and we were on the street with all our things for a while.
But damn, I love those sexy cobblestone streets.
Anyway, we made it just in time and I could feel the old me wanting to say, “I told you so, we needed more time…” and get angry and annoyed and blame-y.
But I was just content.
I kept saying to myself:
“So what if we miss the train? We are safe. We are loved.”
We’ve been purifying karma via travel the last two months and have had a ton of moments where we have had to live into our practice of deep breathing and choosing love over losing it.
And I have lost it a few times too, okay? Hormones are real!
But yesterday (follicular) I had much space to be late and not freak out.
And still wanna kiss Eli’s face and love him and be sorry for when I got tight.
“Angular” is the feedback I have heard.
What an awful word…
Women who don’t want to give up control become a great many things.
Look in the mirror the next time you are resisting control.
What do you look like?
Pollyanna who is all ok and happy chipper yay?
Or sharp jaw, shoulda-coulda-I-told-you-so hard ass?
That’s me—lol.
Both are better than a collapse in some ways, but both are just holding back fear and tears, and that’s actually more delicious than the mask or armor. Even more delicious is letting the moment f*ck you open- whether you miss the train or plane or not, just enjoying the ride. (Double pun intended ;)
Anyway, I didn’t let my hard shell take over! Win!
I did a session with a client of Eli’s in Copenhagen and it felt so good. So fun.
I love doing 1:1 work in person where I can feel the body and tears and laughter.
It is so delicious.
My second European business woman, mama, boss babe in the last few months.
I love working with high-powered women nourishing their feminine sides while working in intense more masculine environments.
It’s so good for my soul.
I’m working hard behind the scenes on my next two programs and have two book ideas brewing also—finding a new agent, getting it all together—while we just bought a house.
So I have been interviewing interior designers and I am so stoked I picked one who is French and lives in LA and is going to bring the magic to our mountain Victorian home.
(Speaking of which, Eli and I are going to lead an in-person intimacy immersion in CO this coming March! Stay tuned.)
I’m listening to this every morning with Lua. She literally asks for it again and again using the “more” sign language.
I’m on day 30-something of a practice with my friend Aarona Leá—from my book F*ck Like a Goddess (The magical mornings one!)
(One of my love languages is—- lets create or do a practice together!)
Happy Solstice.
May we enjoy the long days of sun, despite global chaos, heartbreak and uncertainty. May we stay close to the heart.
I leave you with a poem from DARE TO FEEL to inspire you to love hard and fiercely in whatever ways you do.
To be a
heart warrior
in this world
can be
terrifying!
While some
say:
be calm,
be peaceful,
stay chill,
stay namaste—
a heart warrior
doesn’t.
A heart warrior
discerns
between
reactive
waves of emotions
and portals to liberation
and purification!
And then—
screams,
protects,
speaks up,
shouts,
cries,
moans,
groans,
lets the rug get ripped out from under them!
And then lays there—gutted and broken—
and still...
opens
the
heart!
Still loves.
Still gives.
Still laughs—
Open.
Gutted.
Bloody.
Free.
Most people will not dare enter this path
of soul nudity
and exposure.
They will attempt to put emotions in a box—
tidy and neat.
They will not let that bleeding heart be seen.
Most want to know
how to do this or that.
Most want to
know,
know,
know.
But the brave ones will
surrender to their knowing.
Bare all.
All heart
and
soul—
And even cry out for more
soul baring,
crying:
“Beloved!
Crack me open.
Push out all my forgetting
until I laugh and laugh—
as liberated love.
Purify me
and open this heart!
I am yours, Life—
each wave of riveting passion,
each tear,
each smile.
Gutted,
free.”