turn your practices up - here is why

while the world weeps withers and wonders what is next - dont lose the thread of your unique truth

I’m sipping my oat milk latté wearing black silk pants from Paris and an oversized white linen shirt in a tiny book store coffee shop in New Hampshire. (I just want you to be here with me. Feel me. Get intimate. Can we be that way?) I dotted lavender oil on my wrist this morning and managed to get mascara on while Lua threatened to pummel her body into the wet bathtub. Mornings of love and chaos.

I am in the town where Eli grew up. Everyone around me is over 60 and feels relaxed wearing shades of blue that match the walls. Eli and his dad are walking with Lua and giving me a moment to write. Here we are.

The news this morning got me. Gutted me. We listen to the news on NPR almost every day. On the hour. When we are in the car. Sometimes I hold my breath. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I worry about Lua hearing it. There is so much heartbreak and horror on the planet right now. It’s the place where I don’t understand “god.” At least on one level.

I found a dusty copy yesterday of “Be Love Now” on a bookshelf in Eli’s dad’s house, Ram Dass mentions this life as a little “blip” gone in the blink of an eye! And I feel that lately. We get so obsessed and sucked in— but time is ticking, and we can look outwards at other people’s lives or create the fucking magic out of our own. Despite the horror. For the healing. For love. As an offering.

I was speaking with my caregiver the other day who is devoted to Krishna— about why we incarnated into this plane of existence, where children are sold for sex, and killed in wars, and yet also where love exists, but right now the horror is big. How this planet gives us the opportunity to awaken. If we were on a soft gentle planet we wouldn’t wake us as fast. If we were bogged in a hell realm we couldn’t see the light out. So we are right where we need to be, you know?

And yet my heart bleeds open for it all. I worry in bed at night for Lua and all the kids. But I don’t always write about it. I did a lot more when I was younger, Always angry, fighting, loud! Now, I’m quietly praying more. Being curious about how to love my corner of the world— really hard.

The other night we tried to watch a TV show, Nine Perfect Strangers (S2) and it was so disorienting, I just couldn’t- and so Eli read to us, from a book of a spiritual teacher we’ve been reading together since we met. And I could feel a little more sanity and truth again. Why do I reach for the device? Why not reach for the musical instrument or a book? Something that holds sanity and truth. These moments are what makes our love sacred. The choices we make together. The things we say no to. Not from a puritanical place. But from a remembrance — of what we hold sacred in this world.

I did “The Class” yesterday — I was so into it during cov, and Taryn Toomey who I think is an incredible woman dropped into the routine: “Don’t gossip.” Or something like that, and it made me think about the spiritual social media scene and the gossip and how it’s just like any reality TV. I love people like Taryn who are like: “Don’t.” Fierce. Clear. Honest. That stuck with me. We need people to be clear right now. To use a sword of love through so much noise and muck.

Where are we getting too loose around the edges? Where do we need discipline? I want to write another book, the idea is brewing so hard in me, and I could get lost in 1000 other things for another few years, and I can feel how fierce I need to be.

These times we must do that — with our practices — be it with writing, meditating, dancing, making music— whatever brings you closer to God /Goddess / truth /divinity/ you SELF. Just fucking do it. On repeat. Don’t doubt. Stay with it. Your life will be done in the blink of an eye. Stay with you. Stay with your truth. Don’t get lost in other’s peoples.

I love you.

I’m leading a 6 month writing mentorship for women who want to write a book, or book proposal, or start a Substack, or something where they want to write ALIVE—- as sacred practice. With consistency, accountability and feedback. All off which make you a better writer. Apply here. Starts 7/9.