These are reconfiguring my heart and I’m so excited for when your full transmission is released ❤️🔥 You always have the words for the things that are feelable but hard to capture 🙏🏽🔥
Hi Alexandra - today's reading was very appropriate for me to read (the day after Christmas) because my boyfriend (on and off for 13 years) had a rupture after Thanksgiving and on Christmas Day, due to my very long overwhelming email to him, we came to an understanding that our romantic relationship should not continue as we are now on different pages and phases. I feel like I manifested this break, I am disappointed that he did not want to help to repair the relationship (or us) this 4th time, I am relieved in some ways and heartbroken in others. I thought we could overcome any hurdle but this was too much for him; I was too much, I guess. I am wondering where are the tears, the feels? I've been doing the work; I thought I was healing but this is my pattern repeating itself, so here I am, back in survival mode because I have to be strong for myself and my children (not his). (Single) moms cannot break. I cannot cry and I want to.
I deeply enjoyed this piece, and anything you produce while still being deep in the postpartum portal.
As a young lesbian in college, who came out a few years ago, another thing I think about often and that came up for me while reading your piece, is that of intimacy across ages. I have always (for better and sometimes worse) felt deep love for women five six years older, twice or three times my age. Romantic love, yes, but also romantic friendship love, “auntie/niece” love, mentor/student... and I think about how in my closeted years that intimacy saved my life and how young closeted gay, or straight men (because of male intimacy taboos) may not experience that outlet.
I am awkward around physical affection also and yet I crave it more than anything, bottling up my memories of deep touch so much so that when intimacy actually occurs I’m in my head trying to preserve the moment to remember later, versus just being “in it.”
I enjoyed reading. You write what I am yearning to hear expressed from another...from me. Thank you
These are reconfiguring my heart and I’m so excited for when your full transmission is released ❤️🔥 You always have the words for the things that are feelable but hard to capture 🙏🏽🔥
Hi Alexandra - today's reading was very appropriate for me to read (the day after Christmas) because my boyfriend (on and off for 13 years) had a rupture after Thanksgiving and on Christmas Day, due to my very long overwhelming email to him, we came to an understanding that our romantic relationship should not continue as we are now on different pages and phases. I feel like I manifested this break, I am disappointed that he did not want to help to repair the relationship (or us) this 4th time, I am relieved in some ways and heartbroken in others. I thought we could overcome any hurdle but this was too much for him; I was too much, I guess. I am wondering where are the tears, the feels? I've been doing the work; I thought I was healing but this is my pattern repeating itself, so here I am, back in survival mode because I have to be strong for myself and my children (not his). (Single) moms cannot break. I cannot cry and I want to.
Hi Alexandra,
I deeply enjoyed this piece, and anything you produce while still being deep in the postpartum portal.
As a young lesbian in college, who came out a few years ago, another thing I think about often and that came up for me while reading your piece, is that of intimacy across ages. I have always (for better and sometimes worse) felt deep love for women five six years older, twice or three times my age. Romantic love, yes, but also romantic friendship love, “auntie/niece” love, mentor/student... and I think about how in my closeted years that intimacy saved my life and how young closeted gay, or straight men (because of male intimacy taboos) may not experience that outlet.
I am awkward around physical affection also and yet I crave it more than anything, bottling up my memories of deep touch so much so that when intimacy actually occurs I’m in my head trying to preserve the moment to remember later, versus just being “in it.”
Very excited to read part 3 🌹