Searching for the Antidote to Spiritual and Existential Dissatisfaction in a Culture of Excess
Lately I’ve been reflecting with my dearest ones about how the onslaught of options in all areas of life creates an ongoing dissatisfaction that lays at the core of all, a place where capitalism has invaded your inner holy lands, and the moment your dreams come true, they are invaded by the voices of comparison, or doubt, and the idea that there are so many other options out there…is this the right one? Should I dream a new dream now? I can’t slow down, oh no! Must keep going, sharing, doing…
On a spiritual level I believe it is the corruption that comes from a modern world of greed and a barrage of Facetuned Instagram images and lives, which are constructing the way we see and experience ourselves, and reality. As Kaypacha reminded me in his weekly Pele report last week: “It is time to rewatch the film The Social Dilemma.” Because the beauty of our daily lives has been corrupted and chipped away by the constant social media binging, and internet binging in general, making the here and now less palatable, less shiny, less stimulating. That, too, being an illusion. A lie we are being sold, that this reality of sweat and tears and human connection is less interesting than the online one, and gobbling the phone’s offerings up with each scroll, and click to next episode.
I see this in the world of wellness and spirituality. There is the constant spiritual search, drugs, medicines, polyamory, more more more sensation and peak experiences. I hear much less conversation around commitment. Putting time into the community, volunteer work, service, family, home. Letting life get a little calm, ahem, “boring.” Sitting with what is. Relaxing into the moment now. But I see many more back doors. More uprooting. More bouncing around. And I have to wonder…is this constant search for the better partner, or home, or teacher, or medicine, or city just another product of toxic capitalism and patriarchy? Spiritual consumerism? Did our ancestors fight hard for us to be able to be free and live as we wish and are we just always looking for more?
Or is there an existential void we are trying to fill: more followers, more income, more lovers, more clients, more trips, more plant medicine ceremonies, more trips to Burning Man? Instead of an ongoing spiritual practice we incorporate into our days and lives, a place to give back to the land and our communities, are we seeking a solution to the crisis of meaning, that is a spiritual crisis we are facing? A fix to ease the question of why are we here and what the hell are we all doing? Something to fill the void inside?
I feel this constant search for more rise within me in spurts and I listen to it, but I am starting to look beyond it.
When I look around I have more than enough amazing food, really great food. I have a beautiful home. I have amazing friends. I have an incredible partner. I am very abundant in life’s riches. Health. Beauty. Adventure…so why is there a little tap inside that asks: “Is this enough?”
Is that the same little tap that has us scrolling, picking up the phone, and looking at the lives of others wondering if ours should look that way? Is it the same sickness that keeps us forever out of the present moment looking elsewhere to define what we want and who we are? The same one that is pushing us to reach the next high after high after high?
I have become more and more vigilant about the magic within my present moment. When my mind is pulled into the throes of wondering if “this is enough?” or “what’s next?” I slow down. I look around me. I remind myself I have more than enough. I remind myself to not let comparison, or the desire for more to sabotage the dreams I have made manifest that I am currently looking at. I am reminded that deep spiritual practice, and wisdom, does not equate to a popularity contest on social media. That book sales mean something, but not everything. That perhaps without this very practice of reminding myself that this is enough I would not taste it as deeply. And reminding myself I am always allowed to desire more. To dream up more. But without really savoring the here and now why desire and dream up more? From the slowing down to savor each bite of the dream of being alive, and watching manifestations come into form, slowing enjoying them, from there, as the cycles of life, and the seasons change, the spring will come with its new shoots of new growth, summer will turn bright and big, and fall will quiet as the harvest is savored, as winter comes it will be time to contemplate and be with, and begin the dreaming again.
But living in a culture who wishes always for the springtime of the new, and the full blasting of summer, is a sick culture living on excess, overheated, burned out, and disconnected, hungry for more, ready to consume.
It is in the slowing, savoring, releasing, and dreaming that we truly taste what we have created. It is in the vigilance of our inner worlds where we say no to doubt that our lives are not enough, that our bodies and looks are not enough, and that we must strive for more. With practice and clear awareness we can reclaim each present moment as dripping with beauty and abundance, or as missing something. It truly is our choice whether we heal from this cultural disease, or let it take us further down.
TLDR / Summed up in a poem…
This moment is enough
Your wild hair and zits
Your imperfect partner
The dust on the floor
The light that shows the smudged fingerprints on the glass
Your one eye smaller than the other
The fact you always misspell the word “rhythm”
Your constant search for the perfect job
The fact you are staring out the window and getting nothing done
This is all perfect
This is all enough
This is the glorious movie of YOU
Do not let anyone steal this moment with the demons that whisper “more more more'“
Delete the social apps off your phones on the weekends and wander
Think twice before purchasing on Amazon and consider a trip to Goodwill
Go deliver food for Meals on Wheels
Keep phones out of dinners and beds
Protect your reality
Enjoy this life fully
Because we just don’t know when it is
we will go-
With Love.
x Alexandra
This is my first time here and it's amazing to read your honest and true voice, Alexandra 🌹. Inspiring and just what I needed today. Thank you!
I love this..absolutely what I’ve been thinking about lately and ignoring what’s enough has been creating too much suffering for me. The reframe of being allowed to contemplate desiring more while ALSO recognizing and committing to the present is a game changer for me! I maybe think in black and white and have trouble with holding two things as true 😂 Thank you for this!